Change...and a Leap of Faith
I don’t like change. It is not unusual that most people don't. But it seems that when I make a change, I do it in a big way. I have moved, not something I recommend for the faint of heart. Especially not after 20 years. And, 75 miles from my old home. I pushed myself daily to keep moving forward, to do this. Three weeks into the new home, I can say I have have no regrets. It feels like home. It is a new beginning.
There were obstacles, of course. But they are in the past. I have a big one yet facing me. But, when I left work before taking 2 weeks vacation to move, I envisioned a parachute as I thought I might be free falling from a cliff without a net. I know the parachute is out there. Every day, I thought of three things some wise people (yet unknown to themselves) said to me:
- “You can direct your own life, or someone will do it for you.”
- “Sometimes the hardest decisions are the best ones.”
- “Change can be a good thing.”
I took these pearls out often, marveled at their poignancy and timeliness in my life at the moments they arrived (this all must be happening for a reason for people, some I hardly know, to shine such wisdom at me at the most appropriate moments, causing me to pause in my tracks as I read the words) and I have held them dear while I moved through the struggle to move.
For the first time in a while, I feel happy and at peace. I have some struggles to go. But when you lose the fear, it’s easier to move ahead.
There are two more recent life thoughts shared with me that will continue to drive me forward:
- "I am going to win." And...
- "Write the last chapter."
These two are entwined as I can't do the first without doing the latter. Thanks, SD.
I envision baking in my new kitchen. It will be great fun. It will be a comfort. It will be…everything and anything I want it to be. Biscotti rules. I envision family, brought closer together. Thanks to all for supporting me and believing in me. I envision a glass of wine on the patio. Holidays that are happy. Sharing life. A life to be lived.
And then there is the trip to Il Campo Cucina in Radicondoli…leaving 5 weeks from today. The trip of dreams…cooking in the Tuscan countryside with my sister, my inspiration. Where we go from here is the next dream in the queue.
In the face of what seems like a miserable time for me, there is an awful lot of good going on. I will look back and remember it as a very good year. Sounds like a win to me.
I have leapt with faith that everything will be okay. And life will be good.